What’s Your Sign?

When I meet a possible new friend,

And I’m trying to tell if we’ll blend,

So I ask questions about their life story,

Careful to avoid details too gory,

And since we seem to be vibing,

Our conversation is smoothly gliding,

But just when I’m starting to like them,

They ask me the following gem:

“What’s your sign?”

*I garble my words like I’ve had too many beers*

“My, uh, my what? Sorry. Can you, uh, repeat that one more time?

*While alarms sound off in my ears*

“You know, like Cancer, Pieces, or Gemini…”

*I resist the temptation to hate and judge*

“Um, no I don’t think so, should I?”

*But bad thoughts are here and they won’t budge*

“LOL, do you at least know what month you were born in?”

*Within his tone of voice I register a scoff*

“Come on, you’re acting like not knowing your horoscope is a sin,”

*So I’ve now officially written him off*

“Oh boy, someone’s getting a little testy! Must be a Virgo!

*My mind’s eye is blinded by blood*

“I was born in August if you really want to know,”

*As my thoughts lash out and strike him with a thud*

“You’re a Leo too? So am I! We should totally hang out!”

*I ponder various gruesome methods of killing him dead*

“Yeah, sure thing. Without a doubt.”

*Until I settle on one and finish him off in my head*